- Invert the family hierarchy. The tendency of 21st-century parents is to place the child first, a partner second, and the self, third. This is exactly the reverse of a healthy family hierarchy and actually causes stress to children because they are out of place.
- Be a good role model. Children learn through observation and mimicry, so parents must make sure they are demonstrating the right lessons by living full, balanced lives complete with hobbies, vacations, and, yes, even baths.
- Balanced, happier parents create balanced, happier kids. Take responsibility for your own happiness and resolve trigger issues. Exploring childhood traumas and experiences helps parents identify their parenting strengths and challenges.
- Learn the art of letting go. Children can work out many of their stressors on their own, without parental involvement, so encourage them to independently problem-solve when possible. This lesson extends to acting as chauffeur, social director, tutor, and all the other ways parents over-extend themselves for their children.
- Choices within Limits. Parents should provide opportunities for children to make decisions—they might be surprised at all the good choices their children make when given the chance! The caveat is that you must be consistent, calm and follow-through with appropriate consequences when they don’t.
- Simpler is often better. Fun is a skill that must be taught, as is joyful living, appreciation for both tangible and intangible things, or unplugging from television and the internet. Parents need to create moments for families to rediscover and simplify their lives together.
Our Thoughts:
In this book you are reintroduced to parenting. We learn that parenting doesn't have to be hard. Taking care of ourselves first so that we can take care of our children is important. They actually have the ability to become more independent and better problem solvers.
Robin gives us the tools to empower our kids, and give them confidence, while at the same time parenting with a firm and loving standard. This book is amazing and really should be given out to parents, new and established alike. You can read this book ten times and take away something different each time you read it.
Her approach isn't easy and it isn't quick. In order to change how you've started you have to work. It will no doubt cause some rough edges in your relationships with your kids, but in the end you will reconstruct and build a better more loving one.
The take away's at the end of each chapter are priceless information! I love them. It's an overview, that requires you to take a toll on your own life and delve deeper. I have to say it hurts, to have to look at yourself as a person and take action before you can parent. But, you kids will be better for it; having a whole parent instead of a spaced out, stressed out one.
Buy the book here.
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